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A Mother’s Day Confession: One Year Later, I STILL Feel Like a Bad Mother

May 12, 2013


A year ago, I wrote this post: “A Mother’s Day Confession: I Feel Like a Bad Mom”

…which has, over the past year, become one of my most-visited blog posts ever.  You’d be amazed at how many people google the phrase “I feel like a bad mom” on a daily basis.

Or maybe you wouldn’t.  Now that I’ve been a mom for over a year, I kind of get it.  Because still, a year later, not a day goes by that I don’t feel like a bad mom for something

When we visited the botanical gardens, I accidentally brought Lila a 6-month size swimsuit:

…that she basically had to pour herself into.  There were more than a few nipple-gate moments. It was a mama fail.  And it was also kind of funny.  Sorry kiddo!

The other night, Ryan and I went out for a date night.  Our nanny stays with Lila multiple times a week, and Lila LOVES her.  Still, for whatever reason, on that night, Lila decided to throw herself into my arms and cry as we were trying to get out the door.  I had to pry her off of me and basically throw her at our nanny so that we could leave.  It left me feeling like—you guessed it—a pretty bad mother.

I guess one big lesson of motherhood that I’m trying to learn is that I’ll never not feel like a bad mother.  I’m always going to be failing at something.  It seems like a sad thing to say, but you know—it isn’t.  Once you can come around to the idea that the goal isn’t perfection, the enormous mission of motherhood seems a whole lot easier, a whole lot lighter, and a whole lot more…well, fun.

People used to talk about how “fun” their kids were, and I’d think—“Yeah, sure.  You just *think* they’re fun because they’re your kids!”   And so maybe I only think Lila is fun because she’s my kid, but man—that girl is a hoot! 


More and more, I try to ask myself—do you want to be a perfect mother (whatever that means…)?  Or do you want to enjoy motherhood?  

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(coffee tastes better from a special  Mother’s Day mug! Smile)



I’ll take messy and fun and failing over boring old perfection any day.  Winking smile

Happy Mother’s Day, everyone!

9 Comments leave one →
  1. May 12, 2013 6:54 pm

    🙂 You seem like an awesome Mama to me! Enjoy the day! that video was great- I love when kids dance

  2. May 12, 2013 8:24 pm

    Wait….you feel like a bad mom for buying her a suit that’s too small, but NOT for giving her a beer at age 1?! Ummmm.
    haha, jk. I love it.
    As I’m thinking about having a baby soon I truly appreciate these posts, because I’m sure I’ll feel the same way. I can’t help but look back at times when my mom could have thought she was a bad mother, but I thought nothing of it (like when she made me wear underwear under my bathing suit when we had a field trip to the pool and we all wore our bathing suits under our clothes. Well, I took off my clothes when we got to the pool and forgot my mother had forced me to wear underwear as well……can you imagine what happened next? Everyone noticed right before I jumped in, even the boys…sixth grade, so embarrassing… I forgave her 🙂
    You’re a wonderful mother. Don’t you forget it! Happy Mother’s Day.

  3. May 13, 2013 2:52 pm

    I’m going to vote on the enjoying part!

  4. May 13, 2013 3:41 pm

    Seems like you’re doing everything right to me – she looks like such a happy baby. One day Lila will thank you for being such a great mom. Probably not until after she’s done being a teenager, though. 😉

  5. May 13, 2013 11:54 pm

    I love how honest you are! It is so refreshing!! Plus I think you are a great mom!

  6. Susie permalink
    May 14, 2013 1:54 am

    If more moms had your attitude kids would be much better off! You are a great mom.

  7. May 14, 2013 12:28 pm

    Yes, you are a great mom; and you’re right, nobody’s perfect. I tell Dad all the time that I think you and Katherine are much better mothers than I ever was. But look at how well both of you turned out, and there’s your proof that a mother doesn’t have to be perfect. I love that you are having so much fun with Lila, and you are spending so much time with her. Believe me, you are raising a great little girl! Enjoy!

  8. May 14, 2013 3:14 pm

    Yep, I still feel like a bad mom everyday. Not a day goes by that I don’t wonder if I’m doing the right thing…whatever the hell that is? People will always judge you and you will most definitely judge yourself, but as long as you love them and enjoy them, you are on the right road. I have to believe that.

  9. May 15, 2013 9:14 pm

    For my 25th birthday my mom gave me photo album of every year of my childhood. And there is a picture of my at 3 years old in a bathing suit that is several sizes too small. I’m facing away from the camera and all you can see is my little baby butt not even CLOSE to being covered by the swim suit. I turned out fine 🙂 I promise.

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