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Friday Night In

February 2, 2013

Yesterday, we had plans to go out for some late afternoon/evening beers with some friends and colleagues from our department.  I was really looking forward to it—for whatever reason, this week has felt very long.  Long days teaching.  Long days with Lila—I don’t know if she’s about to pop out a few more teeth, but lately, sister has been IN. A. MOOD.

So all day yesterday, when she was crying for no reason, or screaming, or trying to step directly from her chair to the jumperoo AGAIN, I kept thinking—just a few more hours, and then we’ll get to have a little bit of adult time.  With, ahem, adult beverages.

Then our nanny cancelled. 

Womp womp.

Apparently she was throwing up everywhere.  I was still temped to say, “Hey, it’s fine—Lila probably won’t catch it! Why don’t you just come on over here and watch her anyway?”

Alas, my better judgment told me that that probably wasn’t a good idea. 

So, ever-loving wife that I am, I told Ryan to go on to the bar and hang out with our friends.  Lila was down for a nap, and I was going to use the time to get some grading done.  Very kind and mature of me, right?

Sometimes being mature sucks.  As I sat at my desk, grading freshman composition essays and drinking warm water with lemon, I couldn’t help but feel a little jaded about the turn the afternoon and evening had taken.

That night, after Lila had eaten and been put to bed, we fixed a very simple dinner of grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup:

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…and we watched “Girls” for the first time.  I finally understand all of the hype.  I loved it.  It took me back so much to what it feels like to be 24, totally without a clue about where your life is going, and just…floating.

Sometimes I look at my students at 19, 20, 21 years old, and I think—that doesn’t feel like that long ago.  But then I watch a show like “Girls,” and I know that somehow, almost without even realizing it, I’ve moved beyond that phase, and I’ll never get it back.  I’m probably the farthest away from “floating” that I’ve ever been—I have a husband, a baby, a house, a job…and while all of those things are wonderful, sometimes they do feel like weight.   Because they carry a lot of responsibility with them.  And responsibility is scary, and hard. 

But it carries with it its own excitement.  This morning, it randomly snowed for about 2.5 seconds, so we rushed Lila outside so that she could feel snow for the first time:

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I may not be a girl anymore.  But—she is.  And that, to me, is exciting, and sweet, and so, so terrifying, all at once.

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Have a great Saturday!

10 Comments leave one →
  1. February 2, 2013 3:31 pm

    bahhhh! Way to be an awesome wife. Grilled cheese and soup is one of the best combos ever (IMO). I still haven’t watched girls

    • February 2, 2013 3:38 pm

      DEFINITELY one of the best combos ever. 🙂

  2. February 2, 2013 4:00 pm

    MMMM dinner looks fantastic even if it wasn’t what was planned. And I agree, being a grown up isn’t what it’s all cracked up to be sometimes.

  3. February 2, 2013 4:56 pm

    I watched the first season of Girls a few weeks ago. I loved it too. Have you seen Tiny Furniture? I watched that after seeing Girls and it’s like the exact same thing. Works better as a tv show, though, in my opinion.

    • February 2, 2013 5:12 pm

      I want to see it! I remember when it came out, we had some friends who really recommended it, and then I kind of forgot about it. Now I’m putting it on our list!

  4. Lynda permalink
    February 3, 2013 4:43 pm

    I found your blog through a comment you left on KERF. Your daughter is adoreable! I am with you in feeling that all those grown up things feel like a weight but somebody told me the other day that the things in our life that feel like a burdon are the same things that give meaning and purpose to our lives. That was an eye opener for me..so just wanted to share.

  5. February 3, 2013 7:54 pm

    So sorry your Friday night plans got cancelled. Just know that the time of life you’re in right now (even with all the responsibility and obligations) is what I look back on and miss. You won’t believe how fast the time passes – enjoy it!

  6. February 4, 2013 4:27 am

    Ugh, our Superbowl plans got canceled with hubby being sick too and I made him a grilled cheese and soup for dinner too. 🙂 Adorable snow pics!

  7. February 6, 2013 6:49 pm

    Beautiful post, lady 🙂

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