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Bath Time, Blog Woes

August 18, 2012

Hi friends…long time, no blog, right?  The truth is, I’ve been feeling kind of “meh” about blogging lately.  I can’t say that we haven’t been eating good meals—we have.  I just haven’t wanted to blog about them.

Maybe it’s because school starts next week—I’ve been creating my syllabi, working out schedules, attending orientation sessions, and doing all sorts of work that reminds me that I have a real job that will demand a lot of my time, come this fall.

When I started blogging, we had just moved to Pennsylvania and I was teaching a class load similar to the one I’ll have this year—three classes then, four now. 

But other than teaching, my days (and nights) were pretty open—even empty.  We didn’t have many friends, we didn’t have family in the area, and, to tell the truth, I remember our day-to-day routine being kind of sad.  Definitely lacking.  And blogging helped to fill my life with a new bit of excitement and purpose, as pathetic as that sounds.  I loved thinking of new post and recipe ideas.  And I blogged with gusto—twice a day for almost two years straight. 

But now, fast forward almost three years after my first blog post, and there’s this new little dweller in my life—maybe you’ve seen her?

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And she has this adorable habit of taking up all of my time.  Blogging used to excite me.  But lately, it’s been feeling like a monkey on my back.  And as cheesy as it sounds, I’m getting my excitement elsewhere these days:

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I think back to my early blogging days, when I was desperate to “build an audience.”  I think about the comments I left on blog after blog, cheering on bowl after bowl of oatmeal, exclaiming that each new sandwich or placemat or smoothie was THE BEST THING EVER!!!!  I think of all the “Holy yum!”s I chanted, day after day.

And I’m a little ashamed.  And a lot exhausted.  No wonder I burned myself out on blogging.

The truth is, my page counts have gone down and down and downer.  My blogging has become irregular at best.  The posts I do manage to come up with are scattered, jumbled, confused.

But I’ve never been happier.

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So many bloggers seem to suffer from an addiction to documenting everything—every bowl, every bite, every day, every night—I certainly did.  It can be easy to get so caught up in documenting your life that you forget to live it.  And maybe that’s why blogging was so appealing to me in those first few months—it was a way to put a happy, shiny gloss on a life that, in reality, was pretty sad and scary and lonely. 

But right now, life is the opposite of sad.  It’s a cliche, I know, but every day really is a wonder.  Life is still scary.  But it’s a scary that exhilarates and thrills me, instead of catching like a lump in the back of my throat.

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I don’t know where blogging fits into my life anymore.  And, perhaps more succinctly, I don’t know where my life fits into blogging. 

I’m not quitting.  As with everything else these days, I’m just going to have to figure it out as I go along.

And I do hope you’ll come along for whatever jumbled, rumpled hodgepodge it becomes.

31 Comments leave one →
  1. August 18, 2012 2:58 am

    I had to laugh at the “cheering on every bowl of oatmeal” part b/c how true is that?! ha! I’m having a bit of this exact sentiment at the moment and have spent the week obsessively thinking about what it all means and how I want to change things so, I hear ya. Gotta do what makes sense for you and makes you happy. Loving life and enjoying it is way better than blogging for pageviews. 🙂

    • August 19, 2012 4:30 pm

      Thanks, Gina. It can be so easy to get sucked into constantly commenting on everything! I think every blogger has to figure out how involved they want to be with stuff like that at some point– and obviously it changes as time goes on. Sometimes I feel like I’m REALLY into commenting, and then a few months will go by where I don’t comment on other blogs much at all.

  2. August 18, 2012 3:47 am

    Happy that you’re living life and embracing these moments – she will only be this age once and you are smart to be fully present for it 🙂 Do what makes sense for you and the family!

  3. Marcee .... ILLINOIS permalink
    August 18, 2012 4:46 am

    All (most of em) new parents do not realize (before bebe arrives) how time-consuming an infant is. Only when you have that huge (enjoyable also!) responsibility before you, then …. you know.

    I fully understand the life you speak of Anna. Don’t worry …. whenever the urge hits …. write …. we will read ya!

    Good weekend.

    • August 19, 2012 4:30 pm

      Yep– crazy time-consuming!!! In a great way, but still!

  4. August 18, 2012 10:19 am

    I think you should blog when you want to blog and not worry about anything else. Even though it’s fun to have readers and an audience, the bottom line is that blogging is about you. You need to do it when you want to do it. And if that’s only every so often, that’s okay.

    • August 19, 2012 4:31 pm

      Thanks Lee. That’s definitely true– blogging has to be about the blogger more than anything else.

  5. August 18, 2012 11:51 am

    I think you’re doing exactly what you need to be doing. When you have a baby, your priorities change big time, and you are smart to have figured that out very early on. I think lots people frustrate themselves trying to hang onto their old lives and somehow fit the new life in. They end up not enjoying any of it. Enjoy Lila – she is such a joy – and just blog when you get the urge (or not). I know you’ll work it out!

  6. Stacey permalink
    August 18, 2012 2:04 pm

    Love you, Anna; always have, always will (in a platonic, kindly way…not in a SWF way!) you’re one of the only food (though I know you blog about other topics) blogs I still read. The others have become filled with such drivel. I like your writing, your wit, and the fact that you’re so darn real. I’ll keep reading no matter how much or how little you post. Hugs from Stacey in Boston.

    • August 19, 2012 4:31 pm

      Hahaha…this comment made me laugh. Thanks Stacey! 🙂

  7. August 18, 2012 2:26 pm

    I completely understand your feelings. I started blogging when both of the kids started school full time and I was helping Tony with his business. Now that I have my own work and there is less free time, I have become a lot more sporadic in my blogging. I don’t know how people with really small children (and jobs) find time to blog. I think it’s perfectly acceptable for you to do things in your own time. I say share when you have time or want to share and don’t worry about it when you don’t. Enjoy your family Anna! I hope this is an amazing school year for you too!

  8. August 18, 2012 3:27 pm

    Totally understand, I can’t imagine what your schedule is like with a little one! But my feelings about blogging have changed a lot in the last three years, my work schedule has not only picked up, but gotten crazy! And documenting every bite just seems blah and redundant.

    • August 19, 2012 4:32 pm

      Yep– interesting how blogging definitely is a dynamic aspect of life. My feelings on it change so much depending on what else is happening in my life.

  9. August 18, 2012 5:33 pm

    You know I understand! Do what you want to do!

  10. August 18, 2012 6:13 pm

    Totally get it. I will always read your blog posts whenever they come. Your blog was one of thr very first ones I ever started reading several years ago…back when it was newlywed newly veg. 🙂 I consider you to be one of my oldest (and dearest) blog friends. I am so glad that life is good for you and Ryan and Lila right now. That is as it should be. 🙂

    • August 19, 2012 4:32 pm

      Thanks, Kelly…you know I feel the same way about you!! 😉

  11. August 18, 2012 7:01 pm

    I know what you mean. I’ve given up on commenting on every post trying to get blog attention. I’m sorta over it. I blog for fun now, to share recipes and to challenge myself to make ridiculous things every so often. If people read my blog that’s great, if they don’t eh I’m not losing sleep over it.

    Regardless, I still subscribe to your blog and read every post (even if I don’t comment haha).

    Blogging should be fun. Do your thang, lady!

    • August 19, 2012 4:33 pm

      I still read (and drool over) all of your posts, too. 🙂

  12. Erin permalink
    August 18, 2012 7:47 pm

    Oh, I’ll totally read! I love your writing style, your recipes, and pictures of Lila!

  13. August 19, 2012 11:40 am

    We completely understand. To be honest, I’ve always told Nick I would probably stop blogging once we have kids. Like you, I use blogging and social media to fill a “gap” or a void, of sorts, in my life. It brings a new excitement, that’s for sure! Once a baby comes along, I can’t see blogging or tweeting or whatever, for much longer.
    Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do!

    • August 19, 2012 4:33 pm

      I’m excited to see what blogging brings for you, post-wedding! And you BETTER put pictures up!!

  14. Lee Peterson permalink
    August 19, 2012 3:04 pm

    I hear ya sister. The same was true for me of poetry. To spend all that time somehow on the self. It’s just a different moment than before she came into your lives. And I felt if was a relief NOT to focus on the self, to turn inward and outward at once in this whole new way. A joy to be sure! As so many moms will attest, these early years fly by. Don’t feel guilty. Enjoy these moments for what they are, little joys, little blessings, all with wings.

    • August 19, 2012 4:34 pm

      Thanks, friend. I’m going to try to start writing again once school starts, so that should be interesting. I moved ALL of my poetry books to my new office and am planning on trying to write there at school before I teach. I’m hoping maybe moving into a new (non-home) setting will help to prompt me back into writing. We’ll see. 🙂

  15. August 19, 2012 7:16 pm

    I think we’ve all been there, I know I have. I don’t think anyone even reads mine anymore, but I’m finding it fun again. I hope you’ll still blog, I’ll keep reading 🙂

  16. August 19, 2012 10:30 pm

    What you say makes SO much sense. My energy for certain hobbies ebbs and flows depending on what’s going on in my life, too. And lately I’ve been totally lazy about blogging and not as active a commenter. At the end of the day, blogging and rooting on bowls of oatmeal isn’t worth it if it’s not fulfilling you in some way. That said, I adore your blog – your humor and honesty keeps me coming back even when I’m in my own blogging rut. I’ll read whenever you have the chance!

  17. August 22, 2012 1:05 am

    I hear you, girl! Babies change everything, don’t they?

  18. August 22, 2012 3:05 am

    My blog traffic is going down further but I am too tired to worry about it. Kids and work. Work and kids. Nothing else seems to be important these days.

    Love your honesty here…I think we’ve all done a lot of those things to try to build up an audience.

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