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They Weren’t Lying: It Actually *Does* Get Easier

July 1, 2012

Remember this post?

I thought I’d never have another baby.  When you’re deep in the throes of newborn infant hell, people love to tell you, “It gets easier!!!”

And my reaction was always, “Well fuck you very much.” 

Pardon the language.

But seriously.

When you’re functioning on three hours of sleep, having been thrown from functioning adulthood into a bizarro world where you’re in charge of a tiny being who seemingly only eats and cries (sleep?  what sleep?), the last thing you want to hear is that it gets easier.  Mainly because you just don’t believe it to be true.

And Lila was only *truly* fussy— fussy in the way that made me want to set fire to my own arm rather than listen to her cry for another hour—for about two weeks.

To the parents who deal with *actual* colicky babies for months on end: I salute you.

Hearing people say that the whole baby thing gets easier is like listening to birth stories while you’re pregnant.  It’s kind of interesting to hear how other people’s labors and deliveries went down, but in the end, it doesn’t really mean anything for you, personally.  Because who knows what might happen when it’s your turn? It’s something that you truly have to experience for yourself in order to understand it.  You have to cross through the tunnel to the other side.

Well…I think we’re on the other side.

And I’m happy to say that all of those people were right—it *does* get easier.  It’s not an overnight flip of the switch—I think it’s been a gradual process.  All I can say is that we seemed to go from having just-survive-it days to having okay days to having good days to having great days.  And now, when I wake up in the morning, I’m SO excited to see Lila.

Wouldn’t you be excited to see this face?

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I’ve heard people say that it gets easier at six weeks, but for us, I think two months was the turning point.  At two months, she started to smile a lot more.  She started to fuss a lot less.  And to me, she just started to seem more…predictable.  Predictable in a way that made it easier to take her out of the house.  And predictable in a way that made it easier for us to give her what she needed when she was unhappy.

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This might make me seem like a horrible mother (You should love your baby RIGHT away and that love should never, ever waver!!!!! ), but if I’m being totally honest, I have to say: for the first month or so of parenting, I was pretty miserable.  People talk about loving and bonding with their babies right away, but I spent a lot of that first month just feeling terrified.  Lila was just so small, so fragile—and it was up to me to take care of her?!?  It’s a lot of responsibility.  And it’s exhausting. 

But, slowly but surely, I began to feel more comfortable in my new role as a parent.  More and more, it began to feel easier.  And once it became easier, it began to feel fun.  Really, really fun.

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That’s not to say that Lila still doesn’t have her moments:

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But suddenly these moments seem manageable…even funny.

And so if you’re a brand-new, week-old parent out there struggling, I’m here to tell you—it does get easier.

I know, I know—you don’t believe me. 

But you will soon. 

21 Comments leave one →
  1. July 1, 2012 5:47 pm

    I appreciate 1. your honest posts when it comes to parenthood. and 2. your use of the term “fuck you very much.” 🙂

    Glad it’s getting easier.

  2. Morgan permalink
    July 1, 2012 7:49 pm

    If only it got easier for everyone at 2 months. My daughter is 7 months old and is still up at least 5 times a night. OMG I’m still in the infant misery and she’s not an infant anymore

    • July 1, 2012 8:19 pm

      I’m so sorry, Morgan– I have a lot of friends who have gone through the same thing. So tough!!!

  3. July 1, 2012 8:08 pm

    Amen! And it truly just continues to get easier! Its amazing. She is such a cutie! Such big eyes! Too sweet

  4. July 1, 2012 8:42 pm

    Girl – I absolutely love you for your complete and total honesty and your writing style – how you’re able to incorporate the feelings with twists of humor. Seriously a talent!

  5. July 1, 2012 9:39 pm

    It will get EVEN easier Anna! Now that Maya is 7 she can almost do everything by herself and life is 100 X better.

    So glad that you are on your way…love the honesty. Love it.

  6. July 2, 2012 12:12 am

    That’s so great to hear! A friend of mine felt similarly… her first baby was suuuuper chill and easy and the second was much more sensitive and emotional. So she had a hard time bonding with her right away. Now, 2 years later, all is peachy keen and they’re a happy house. 🙂 *blog high five for you guys!*

  7. July 2, 2012 1:13 am

    What a relief to hear life is getting more manageable. Little Lila is adorable!

  8. July 2, 2012 1:51 am

    So glad to hear 😀 And cutest pictures ever. Her eyes and hair are awesome!

  9. July 2, 2012 12:55 pm

    You, my friend, are not a horrible mother. I actually want to HUG you. Your honesty during this entire process has been comforting and exactly what I wanted to hear. I absolutely love you for it!

  10. July 2, 2012 1:49 pm

    So glad to hear that it’s at the point where it gets easier! I remember hearing that advice and never believing it! It’s wonderful when it happens! Lila is stinkin’ adorable…love the pics!

  11. Katie McTighe permalink
    July 2, 2012 3:55 pm

    Love this post! Lila is such a cutie!

  12. July 2, 2012 6:39 pm

    I absolutely love your honesty! I wish I was older and wiser when I had my kids to journal all that I went through. I still struggle every day wondering if I’m raising my kids right. They are truly our best friends…I don’t know if that is right or not? I am so glad that you’ve reached a good place with Lila. There are definitely ups and downs in every step of parenting. Two months ago, I couldn’t have easily sent Max to military school…this month, he is back to his loving self again. Everyday is a new day and I’m glad that things are good right now! Keep your chin up and thank you for sharing! Oh and I’m with Lee, I’m totally loving the phrase, “Well fuck you very much”. I am definitely going to put that one to use!

  13. July 2, 2012 8:09 pm

    Thank you for your honesty! I had my first baby 3 weeks ago and I was miserable the first 2 weeks…but like you said, things are getting better! I am glad things are looking up on your end as well! Lila is absolutely adorable!

  14. July 3, 2012 12:13 am

    I will be rereading this in about 4 months! like everyone else has said THANK YOU For your honesty! I have related so much with you during your pregnancy (yes I went back to reread! hehe) and enjoy all your posts 🙂

  15. July 3, 2012 4:01 am

    Wonderfully honest post, love it! Glad things are getting better.

  16. Chels permalink
    July 3, 2012 4:43 am

    For me the first three months were the hardest. The second time around my husband knew to be way more supportive and nothing ugly went down! Hah! Then he started actiand like things were back to normal and I warned him that the kid might be sleeping through the night but I need another month to get caught up before I’m same again!! So I’d say four months total!!!

  17. July 5, 2012 8:06 pm

    Happy to hear you’re settling into a more predictable routine! And guess what? It’s going to get a lot more fun, too 🙂

  18. Cammy permalink
    July 6, 2012 7:28 pm

    Said like a true mother

  19. July 8, 2012 6:56 am

    Anna, I am so, so happy for you. ❤

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  1. It Gets Easier…But It Doesn’t Get Easy « On Anna's Plate

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