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Monday, Monday

January 16, 2012

Ryan and I were saying over the weekend, January is a hard month.  When we were up in Pennsylvania, I always assumed that it was just a sucky month because we usually found ourselves trudging through three feet of snow to go anywhere…but now that we’re in Alabama, I know that’s not true.  We’ve yet to see snow stick here (although we did get big flurries last week!), and other than a few freezing days, the temps have been satisfyingly mild…and still, I find myself feeling…just blah.  Spring feels so far away in January, even in the South. 

At the same time, in this year’s January, I find myself wishing that time would slow down a little bit, because spring = baby = EEK!!!  There is still SO much that we have to do—we’re meeting with a potential pediatrician today, and hoping that it goes well.  If we like this doctor, that would be a huge scratch off on the to-do list.  The process of preparing for a baby is (duh) completely overwhelming at times.  We went into our giant Babies R Us last night, hoping to pick up some essentials.  We wandered up and down the aisles for about 45 minutes, and then left with a ten-pack of baby clothes hangers, because…well, that was all I could wrap my mind around us needing.  There are so many choices, so many “must haves”—and the thing about the “must haves” is that you know you’ll only end up using about 1/3 of them, if that. 

Sigh.

I’m not complaining,  because honestly, I do find the whole nesting/preparation element to be pretty fun—but it’s also overwhelming and intimidating.  What if we don’t pick the right sheets?  What if we don’t buy the right swaddler?  What if we buy ten pacimals, only to discover that Lila really prefers the wubanub???

Deeeeeeep breath.

Sometimes I think the hardest thing about pregnancy isn’t the nausea, or the stretch marks, or the hammer constantly driving itself into your lower back…it’s the waiting.  Because it’s during the waiting period that you can drive…yourself…crazy.  Crazy with happy anticipation, but also with worry, angst, and fear.  One of the strangest parts of being pregnant, for me, has been an increased feeling of constant anxiety, because somehow the baby growing inside of me makes it seem like there’s suddenly more at stake. This is not at all to say that my life pre-pregnancy didn’t matter…only that I now find myself thinking more and more about how lucky I am.  And along with that awareness comes that perpetual thought of how easily all of this could be taken away. 

See?  January makes me fun. 

This was supposed to be a post about chicken:

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But I guess I kind of strayed, huh?  

I guess I’d better get used to it, because from what I’ve heard, parenthood is just one giant flaming ball of anxiety that never really ends. 

I’m trying to focus on the things I’m looking forward to, rather than worry about the things I can’t control.  I was working on photoshop again last night, editing some of our pictures from our Nantucket trip, two summers ago.  We’re going back this summer, and I’m so excited.  Just looking at these pictures gets me excited for spring…and summer…and everything that will come after that.

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Plus, looking at this picture:

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…never fails to put me in a better mood.  Lila…meet your father.  He is one goofy bastard.

19 Comments leave one →
  1. Marcee permalink
    January 16, 2012 4:06 pm

    Gloomy and cold here too ….. in Chicago. The worst is on the way! Lots of snow these next 3-4 days. Yikes. We are kinda used to this weather. One day it will get better. For you too Anna.

    Most likely you will be given a few baby showers. Right? That should help with baby Lila’s wardrobe! Hopefully, you will receive 3-4 beautiful necessary (machine washable) baby blankets/comforters.

    My advice ….. save your strength …… go shopping online! Infants need a lot. It can be daunting. But ….. has to be done sooner than later.

    There are fantastic bargins these days Anna. Stores move out (winter) merchandise to ready-up for spring. Prices are absolutely slashed 70% and more. Plus there are usually extra discounts …. 15 or 20% on your total. Really!

    Do not be discouraged. It does take time to shop ….. do a little bit a few times a week. Start asap Anna! This past weekend I found fab deals everywhere online! Very thrilled with all purchases.

    Check out ……. Oskosh, Old Navy, GapKid, Kids R Us, Land of Nod, The Children’s Store and Garnet Hill. Other favs are Giggle and CWD Kids.

    Toy stores are fun also ….. Little Tykes, Melissa & Doug and Toys R Us are just a few. To me, toys are important for all kids. Infant toys are better than ever!

    Saved a bundle this month when I purchased lots and lots of clothes for the children, the babies. Also, department stores have marvelous deals. Buy several sizes ….. put them away for late 2012-2013. I usually purchase many extras. Just keep in containers according to sizes/boy/girl. Handy and it does work for me!

    Throughout the years, I’ve always bought many, many (values!) things for my neices and nephews. Luckily, usually my sweet relatives reimburse me!. Quality is very imporant for the kids. Love cottons. Organic if possible. Reading the reviews moms post are helpful. I love finding cotton blend crew socks for $1.00 at GapKid!

    Don’t forget …. you are going to get complimentary shipping if you spend maybe $39.00 and up. Depends on the (online) store.

    Best of Anna!

  2. January 16, 2012 4:15 pm

    I hear ya! And the funniest thing is….it will be the cheap/random items that end up being your go tos, not the expensive fancy dancy stuff! I wish I knew how little you actually need at first. Everyone seems to convince you that you need a gajillion things…and you really don’t…

  3. January 16, 2012 4:28 pm

    I can’t even imagine – I’d be sooooo overwhelmed. I know you have an amazing support system through your family and blogger friends. Love looking at those pics too, I can just hear the ocean.

  4. January 16, 2012 5:14 pm

    Agreed on January, it’s an odd month for me too with weird weather, post-holiday low, and trying to tackle and plan for new year’s goals. I can’t imagine the pregnancy parenthood feelings you’re going through, but I’m sure it’s a lot to deal with! I would be at a loss of what to shop for and just where to start. You’re allowed ranting posts! 🙂 But it also sounds like you’re taking things in stride and Photoshop is a great therapy for me too. 🙂

  5. January 16, 2012 6:30 pm

    What great pictures. I absolutely love the black and white with the fence!

    : ))
    Jen

  6. January 16, 2012 6:36 pm

    I can only IMAGINE how hard the wait is! Spring really is just around the corner, though…and you will do great at all things baby and mom! 🙂

  7. January 16, 2012 6:42 pm

    I think the darkness is one of the biggest reasons I hate January, I hate leaving work when it’s already dark out!

    Love the pictures! “He is one goofy bastard” = LOL.

  8. January 16, 2012 6:44 pm

    Love the last pic of you two.

    And yes, the waiting in pregnancy is the hardest part. Or one of them. Totally normal, common and natural, but not easy. Hang in there 🙂

  9. January 16, 2012 7:03 pm

    I love the last pic of you two and the one where the grass is so freakin’ green! I really need to get me some photoshop! Well, maybe I should try downloading some pics from my new camera first —- but photoshop is not too far away!

  10. January 16, 2012 10:28 pm

    Haha, love that last picture. I get that same sort of blah feeling in January even with no snow (besides that freak thing in October we had) this entire season. Every year around this time I start freaking out about how we need to go somewhere tropical. We literally had that convo again last night. Spring does feel like forever from now. Ugh…

    • January 16, 2012 10:31 pm

      Ohhh man…tropical sounds so nice. We took a trip to Key West at the end of last winter, and it was SO heavenly.

  11. January 16, 2012 10:54 pm

    Trying not to worry about the things you can’t control is so hard for me. I feel like all I do is worry even though I know worrying isn’t healthy…I am just in a funk right now. I feel like all I do is worry and cry, worry and cry. I want to slap myself and yell SNAP OUT OF IT! Because neither of those emotions brings me one step closer to the goal.

  12. Kev permalink
    January 17, 2012 2:10 am

    Look at it this way: if you can make it through the your first day of parenthood without nursing the wrong baby (as Pam and Jim did (They had a baby! Did you know?!)) you’re doing pretty good.

  13. January 17, 2012 2:51 am

    Sorry for all your anxiety. Believe me, you’re better off in Alabama than in Boston! It’s been, like, -10 degrees!

  14. January 17, 2012 2:53 am

    Try not to stress…you’ll figure out what you need in time! Waiting is the worst part of pregnancy! Spring will be here soon!

    Love the pics of your vacation….how exciting to know you get to go back soon!

  15. January 17, 2012 3:10 am

    I love the pictures! January is long in Phoenix, where it’s the month of nearly perfect weather. I think I drag getting back into the routine of work and reality after the holidays. I just never feel like I’m back in the swing of things. Congratulations on your pregnancy! You have the best reason to be ready for spring 🙂

  16. January 17, 2012 12:02 pm

    That’s GREAT! Yeah, I gotta say, I LOVE Ryan’s beard! Nick always gets about 4 days in and then has to shave because of the itch he gets, but I want him to grow a bear like that one day (and suffer through the pain!).
    January is totally a BLAH month, It’s better for Nick and I only because our birthdays are in January, but if they weren’t….it would suck. I’ll be honest though, I LOVE the snow, and I don’t feel like it’s really been winter yet!

  17. January 17, 2012 1:06 pm

    I understand your anxiety, but I think you and Ryan are way ahead of the game as far as being prepared for the baby. Just remember that babies are so resilient and there really is not that much that they actually need at first – and, you have a great support network. Any question or problem you have is just a phone call away. That said, I had an anxiety dream last night that I had a new baby and I didn’t know what to do with it, and didn’t have any of the things I needed to take care of it. Funny how your mind works – I must be nervous about the baby, too!! This will be an exciting Spring!

    • January 17, 2012 2:23 pm

      Mom, you know this baby isn’t yours, right? 😉

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