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“I’m Only Irritable When You Ask Me Why I’m Irritable” : Welcome to the Third Trimester

January 10, 2012

That might be a direct quote from this weekend.  And yes, I have been, admittedly, more irritable lately.  Not just more irritable—more emotional in general.  I’ve had some moments of inexplicable weepiness, some moments of extreme joy—it seems like these days, whatever I’m feeling is AMPLIFIED times about 25.  Or 50.  Or 100. 

And this morning, I was feeling…nervous.  This was my breakfast:

DSC_0586 (8) 

Mmmmm….nothing like 50 grams of sugar to get you going at 7 am.  I had a bad feeling about this glucose test, and I was right to be nervous: I failed.  😦

Now, a lot of women fail their first glucose test.  You drink the orange stuff, wait an hour, they prick your finger, and if your sugar levels aren’t below a certain level, you have to take another, more comprehensive three hour test. 

I thought I might fail the test, just because many women do.  But I didn’t think I’d fail so badly—my number was really high.  And now, because of that, I’ve pretty much convinced myself that I’m going to fail the three hour test too, and will be diagnosed with gestational diabetes. 

Rational?

Not necessarily.  I’ll take the three hour test on Thursday, so we don’t have to wait too long to find out.  But, as I said, my number for the first test was so high, I’m not very hopeful that the third test is going to go well.

And then what? 

Then, I guess I’ll be diagnosed with gestational diabetes, and we’ll take it from there.  It’s not the end of the world, which is what I keep telling myself in an attempt to stay rational

But irrationally…I’m pissed.  I’m at a healthy weight for my height, and haven’t gained excessive weight in pregnancy (I’m almost 29 weeks and up 16 pounds).  I eat healthy.  I’ve stayed active, exercising almost every day through weights, walking, and yoga.

It just doesn’t seem fair.

Earlier today, after we’d gotten the results of the first test, I found myself thinking, “Oh, maybe I can trick the three hour test by only eating pure protein for the next two days! Maybe I can jog before the test!” 

Obviously that’s a bad idea.  If I do have gestational diabetes, I need to know about it, for my health and definitely for the health of Lila.  The truth is, no one likes feeling like they’ve failed something, and you definitely don’t like feeling like you’ve failed your unborn child.  I keep wondering if there is something I should have been doing throughout the pregnancy to ensure that this wasn’t an issue…but I don’t know what I could have done.  Again, I eat healthy, I exercise, so if I have gestational diabetes, I have it.  The body does strange things in pregnancy, and so much of being pregnant has taught me that there are going to be times where your body is simply out of your control—and that’s a scary feeling.

Like so much else that’s happened thus far, I’m just going to do my best to roll with the punches, and to remember that at the end of all this, we get the best gift in the world—Lila Scott. 

Here’s a 28.5 week bump shot—officially in the third trimester!

DSC_0601

(and fresh from a workout 🙂 ). 

Have a great day!

33 Comments leave one →
  1. January 10, 2012 7:36 pm

    oh girl! Your weight gain is just perfect! Most women would be jealous that you’re staying so well on track and looking so good! Don’t stress! I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you and will be thinking about you on Thursday!

    • January 11, 2012 2:34 pm

      Thanks, Erica! It’s hard not to stress about it, but I know that won’t do me (or Lila!) any good, so I’m trying not to!

  2. January 10, 2012 8:03 pm

    Hey, girl
    You can’t “fail” a lab test. Really. Yes, you can have an abnormal result, but it is best to know if there is a problem so it can be addressed.
    And, yes, there are few things harder to get down than a bottle of glucose on an empty stomach. But, you choice the best flavor.
    Praying for the best for you on Thursday!

  3. January 10, 2012 8:04 pm

    *chose*

  4. January 10, 2012 8:13 pm

    I hope I can be like you and rock workouts during my future preg (still no baby! bahhh! my body hates me!)

    good luck with your test results lovey!!!!! i’ll be thinking about you! ❤

    • January 11, 2012 2:35 pm

      Awww, girl, your body doesn’t hate you!! I know you’ll be making your own big announcement soon!! And seriously, enjoy your non-pregnant body while you still can 🙂

  5. January 10, 2012 8:29 pm

    Good luck Thursday. Like you say, if there’s something to address, you’ll address it. No sense blaming yourself when you’ve been doing all the right things!

  6. January 10, 2012 8:33 pm

    Sorry girl – I really hope everything is a-ok Thursday. I’ll be sending lots of positive vibes your way. And kudos to you for continuing to stay active and healthy!!

  7. Jennifer permalink
    January 10, 2012 8:36 pm

    Hi Anna,

    As a longtime reader and first-time commenter, CONGRATULATIONS! 🙂 I’m very excited for you, about motherhood, not the gestational D part. Do you mind sharing what that number was? I’m not a doctor, but I am diabetic and understand the whole “number system”. You do eat healthy and exercise very well, so it’s easy to see why it can be shocking.

    As a diabetic, environmental factors can play a big role in numbers. If I’m stressed or anxious, the numbers reflect that. I’m glad you have further testing to see if the number remains high.

    Keep your head up, diabetes is really a healthy disease in that it’s much easier when you do what you are “supposed” to eat/exercise, etc.!

    • January 11, 2012 2:37 pm

      Hi Jennifer,

      Thanks for commenting! My number was 186…again, very high!! We’ll see what happens on Thursday, and then we’ll just take it from there… 🙂

  8. January 10, 2012 8:39 pm

    I feel like your pregnancy is going so quickly! You look great and good luck with your 3 hour test!!!

  9. January 10, 2012 8:43 pm

    I am sorry Anna! I will be keeping my fingers crossed that you pass the long three hour test! I know that feeling of “it’s not fair” but as Keith tells me: dwelling on what is/is not fair gets you nowhere because life isn’t fair. But still with that said….I will be sending good glucose vibes your way!!

  10. January 10, 2012 9:06 pm

    Yikes, so sorry about the test. 😦 As you said, it’s common and the body does strange this during pregnancy. Sending good vibes for the next test and you look great!

  11. January 10, 2012 9:56 pm

    Hope the three hour one goes well. But like you said, if you have gestational diabetes, you need to know about it so you can do whatever you have to do. But here’s to hoping that the 3-hour test will go fine.

  12. January 11, 2012 12:04 am

    I am so sorry about your first failed test and if you do have GD, better you know than try to trick the test. But I know how your brain works..mine would be doing the same.

    That said, do NOT beat yourself up of the woulda/coulda/shoulda’s or what if I had done….No. Some things just arent in our immediate control and you have done the best you could and you can’t try to second guess yourself or be hard on yourself. Hugs, mama.

    • January 11, 2012 2:39 pm

      Thanks, girl. I’m trying not to beat myself up about it, since I do think this is just one of those “out of my hands” situations.

  13. mgutowsk permalink
    January 11, 2012 12:34 am

    Anna- your post (the part about being emotional) reminded me of when my sister was pregnant. She was CRANK-Y! Once I was over at her house and her husband Joe dropped a drink on the floor. He stood there and said “what do I do?” Sounds like I dumb question, but he was in self-preservation mode- he knew whatever his instinct to do was going to be “wrong” to Ginger’s pregnancy brain. So he just stood there- caught between the realization she was probably already mad he dropped the drink and fear that he’d make it worse. Man- she had us all on tiptoe! Just remember- after its all said and done, not only will you have a gorgeous little girl, you’ll have some funny stories too!

    • mgutowsk permalink
      January 11, 2012 12:34 am

      *a dumb question

    • January 11, 2012 2:40 pm

      Bahaha…aww, poor guy!!! I don’t think I’ve been too bad….although Ryan might disagree…but I’ve definitely had some moments like that!

  14. January 11, 2012 1:39 am

    Please don’t be hard on yourself. There really are some things that we have no control over. You do take care of yourself and your little girl. Just take this as one of those life lessons that will lead you into parenthood. The most important part of all this is that you continue to take care of yourself. Oh and you are so not alone with the hormones…I was a hormonal maniac when I was pregnant with Max. It was awful. Keep your chin up Anna! You look beautiful!

  15. January 11, 2012 2:35 am

    Having just spent several weeks with you, I can say that you are considerably less emotional than most pregnant women – certainly less than I was!! Good luck with the test on Thursday, but whatever the result, you will handle it and it will be fine. This is just a first taste of parenthood – the being totally out of control part! Love you!!

  16. January 11, 2012 2:54 am

    Hang in there, dear! One of my girlfriends was diagnosed with gestational diabetes, and she is also super healthy (eats right, runs marathons, etc.). She did what she had to do and now has a beautiful baby boy. Regardless of Thursday’s results, I know you’ll tackle the final trimester like a champ. Lila will be in your arms before you know it! (And then you’ll blink, and she’ll be 3 months old. Seriously. How does that happen??)

  17. January 11, 2012 4:39 am

    You’re doing great, pretty lady! Many girls fail the test- even 2 healthy food bloggers that I can think of. You’ll do great on the test and if not, then you will have information to make sure that you and Lila stay healthy. I hope things work out for you and I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed.

    You are healthy and look fantastic, so chin up!

  18. January 11, 2012 5:26 am

    Not to worry, lady. It is what it is. Another pre go food blogger gal just found out she’s got gestational diabetes, too. You should hit her up and ya’ll can talk it out 🙂 http://www.heathersdish.com/

  19. January 13, 2012 12:20 am

    Aw..I’m sure you’ve heard plenty of stories but I’ll add one more…my best friend just had a baby in November. She failed the one hour by a LOT but passed the three hour with flying colors. So don’t worry! It’s hard not to, I know-but I’m sure you’ll pass w flying colors and, if not, it will be okay.

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