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How to Poach an Egg (and pouf pictures)

January 7, 2011

Step One: Ask The Internet:

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Step Two: Follow the directions from The Internet:

…Bring a pot of water to a simmer, then pour a teaspoon of vinegar in:

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…Transfer egg to a shallow dish, instead of breaking directly into the bowl:

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….Pour egg in slowly and carefully, and watch as the egg white disintegrates into a thousand wild swirls and strands.  Fail.

Step Three: Throw failed egg out. 

Step Four: Ask Your Mother, who tells you to use shallower water and more vinegar.  She also tells you to create a small, swirling well in the water before you put the egg in, and to use a spoon to gently fold and guide the white together once in the simmering water. 

Step Five: Poach the egg as per Your Mother’s instructions, and…

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Step Six: Enjoy on hot, buttered toast, basking in the warm glow of your awesomeness:

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Lesson?  When it comes to cooking, Your Mother trumps The Internet, almost every time. 

*          *          *

So, many of you asked for proof of my “bump it” usage for our Jersey Shore party last night.  Well, I teased, I sprayed, I poufed, I sprayed some more, I teased some more, I poufed some more, and I finally got:

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The smallest pouf known to man.  I guess I’m just not cut out for life at the Shore.  It felt very high to me, and I actually thought it looked *very* Snookie…but then we went to the party, and no one even noticed that I had done it!! One of my friends told me that she just thought I’d finally figured out how to get a little volume in my hair, and after I pointed out the (multiple) bump its I was using, more than one person said that they thought it actually looked cute. 

I guess Snookie had the right idea all along.

20 Comments leave one →
  1. January 7, 2011 4:25 pm

    Now I want a poached egg!

    Your bumpit is too cute 🙂

  2. January 7, 2011 4:37 pm

    that’s the most beautiful poached egg EVER! and i guess it’s not a bad thing to not be cut out for the poof…the world only needs one snooki after all 😉

  3. peasandcrayons permalink
    January 7, 2011 4:53 pm

    mmmmm eggs! I think It’s breakfast time!!! =)

    oh snookie, i love your poof! =) hahahaha

    Jenn @ Peas & Crayons

  4. January 7, 2011 4:55 pm

    The egg looks perfect! I am hungry and I would totally have you make me a poached egg just about right now! the bumpit is cute on you!

  5. January 7, 2011 4:56 pm

    I’ve never tried to poach an egg but now I’m curious! and mom’s DO trump the internet!!

    ps. i watched JErsey shore last night and could not believe Sammie! why is she so crazy? Anyway, your bump it actually doesn’t look that high hahah but I know what you mean about THINKING something is more than what it actually is!

  6. January 7, 2011 5:20 pm

    The first time I successfully poached an egg was one of the highlights of my life (in the kitchen at least). I swear, I’d never even had one before, but that first bite…I don’t really like eggs any other way now. 🙂

    OK, that’s a lie. I still like them in many forms…but poached is BEST! [I think I love the butteriness of the runny yolk.]

  7. January 7, 2011 5:37 pm

    Oh, Anna. I’m so sorry. I could probably get a better poof than that. But your poached egg looks delicious!

  8. January 7, 2011 7:14 pm

    Sadly my mother would not trump the internet. I inherited my lack of cooking skill from her. LOL

    Your egg does look perfect, though!

  9. January 7, 2011 7:15 pm

    I think that’s a bigger pouf than I’d end up with so kudos!!!

  10. January 7, 2011 7:18 pm

    I’ve never poached an egg! Glad you got it to come out!! haha- mini pouf 😉

  11. January 7, 2011 9:22 pm

    i’ve still yet to poach an egg. no, that’s not true – i tried once and failed.

    • January 7, 2011 9:34 pm

      It was intimidating!! I was very proud of myself when I finally got it! 🙂

  12. January 7, 2011 11:40 pm

    Beautiful egg pics. Super cute mini-pouf! 🙂

  13. January 8, 2011 12:45 am

    Your poached egg turned out perfectly!! I’ve heard about the well thing, but I’ve never tried it. I really need to though cause I love me some poached eggs. In fact, I might make some tomorrow! 🙂

  14. JenATX permalink
    January 8, 2011 3:08 am

    I never thought bumpits would take off after seeing the info-mercials but I really think they should thank Snookie for their success

  15. January 8, 2011 2:02 pm

    I’m laughing because I did the same exact thing a couple of months ago and after one fail I gave up. I’m going to use your mom’s directions now!

  16. January 8, 2011 4:10 pm

    I agree with your friends and think the poof looks sort of cute!

    This is embarrassing but the only way I know how to cook an egg is to scramble or hard boil it.

  17. January 8, 2011 4:48 pm

    I just discovered your blog and totally love it! I feel like we have so much in common! I JUST went on an egg-poaching adventure, trying to figure out how to do it right. Plus, I used to live in LA and PA (now in MD) AND I too, have a very very small and sad pouf. LOL I love how they put poached eggs on top of everything for breakfast in Louisiana. Ah-mazing 🙂

    • January 10, 2011 4:46 pm

      Thanks for the sweet comment, and welcome!! We DO have a lot in common! 🙂

  18. January 9, 2011 10:42 pm

    Your bump actually looks quite cute! You could wear it like that again!

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