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Thinking about Two

April 9, 2014

Guess who turned two this week?

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You know who.  Winking smile 

I know all parents say this, but it really is crazy how fast the years go by.  It really doesn’t seem like that long ago that we were bringing her home for the first time:

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…and now she’s a walking (running), talking (sassing) two-year old.   I’m excited about two.  She’s already started testing her limits more and more, and definitely frustrates us on a daily basis.  But, at the same time, she’s like a little sponge at this age—soaking up new information, spitting out new phrases left and right—she’s become our little parrot!  Two days into it, two is fun in ways that babyhood never was.  I’ve always been up front about not loving the infant stage, so crazy as it might sound, I have high hopes for toddlerhood. 

Of course, the more things change, the more they stay the same.  Lila seems to be going through some sort of a sleep regression—after months (years?) of sleeping peacefully through the night, she’s started waking a few times a night over the past month or so—screaming out for her pacifier, asking to be rocked, and—this morning at 5:50—asking to be sung to.  Puff Dragon and the Winnie the Pooh theme songs are common requests, which is cute, but not in the middle of the night (or before dawn).

We got her a night light which has helped some.  I think it’s mostly just a bit of good old-fashioned separation anxiety.  Plus, they say that kids can start having nightmares more at this age, and I do think that sometimes she wakes up in the dark, can’t find her paci, and just freaks out.  Thus, the night light.

Still, it’s frustrating.  One week, she woke up three nights in a row, and I thought—we haven’t had to deal with this crap since she was an infant!  It’s hard when you think that you’ve worked through something, only to have it resurface again.

In addition to Lila turning two, we’re thinking about two in other ways—two kids. We’ve always talked about spacing our kids out by about 3 years…which means that with Lila turning two, trying for a second baby is right around the corner.  Honestly, my thoughts on having a second kid are more complicated than I thought they’d be.  I never thought I’d only want one kid. I love having a sibling, and I think it’s something that is…well, I guess I think it’s good for kids.  I’m not trying to dis only children, because I know some great ones, and obviously the choice of how many children to have (if any) is one that each parent must decide completely on their own.  But with a sibling, you learn how to share.  You learn that the world doesn’t always revolve around you.  Plus, you have someone to commiserate with and scheme with and laugh with, and when your parents get older, you don’t have to bear that brunt all on your own.

But.

Lila is just so god-damned easy these days.  I mean, yeah, she throws fits, and yeah, we have our moments—but compared to the struggle we went through with a newborn?  It’s nothing.  Lila naps for 2-3 hours a day.  She’s on a regular schedule most days.  She’s a happy kid.  Plainly put, while I would never say that Lila was an easy baby (hello, bouncing her on the ball with the hairdryer going for hours at a time!), she is a pretty easy kid.  We love her.  We’re having so much fun with her.  And so, a part of me thinks—why mess with a great thing?  Why ask for more?

Of course, we will.  Or at least, we’ll try.  Not wanting to return to the hell of the first three months of having a baby isn’t enough to deter me from what comes next—the smiles, the giggles, all of the first moments.  I know more than ever now how short the baby phase is—and lest you think I was a miserable shrew during that entire time, let me be clear that there were some things that I loved about infanthood.  You really just can’t beat a baby, drunk on milk, passed out on your chest.  #scientificfact  Plus, a part of me wonders how much of our rough first three months was just the difficulty of a first baby.  I’ve heard my friends with 2 or more say again and again that everything is so much different (and usually easier) the second time around.

Any words of wisdom for me on going for number two? Or for the “terrible” twos?  Winking smile

12 Comments leave one →
  1. April 9, 2014 1:25 pm

    Happy birthday, Lila!

    Obviously I don’t have any words of wisdom from experience, but I will say that my parents also had a really, really rough time with me when I was an infant, and when they decided to try for another baby, it was because “God wouldn’t do that to us twice.” (Direct quote. Thanks, mom.) Turns out they were right – my sister was a much, much easier baby than I was. (By the time we were teenagers, it was a different story, but as far as babies went, they had a MUCH easier time with #2.)

  2. April 9, 2014 2:27 pm

    Oh my – 2 already??? Seriously?

  3. April 9, 2014 2:49 pm

    I totally want 2 and I’d love for them to be spaced 2-3 years apart. My sister and I are 2 years and 3 days apart and we are bffs! People always say “just wait until you have one!” inferring that I will change my mind when things are crazy with one, but we’ll see. At least when you have them close together you get finished with diapers sooner haha.

    Happy Birthday Lila!

  4. sarenashasteen permalink
    April 9, 2014 4:33 pm

    Happy Birthday Lila! I have to say Anna, I have really enjoyed watching Lila grow up. She reminds me so much of Max (my youngest). I feel bad for her not being able to sleep through the nights these days. Max had similar issues. We actually ended up putting a pallet in our room by my side of the bed for him. It’s so hard for the parents since we don’t really know what the real problem is. Hopefully it won’t last much longer.

    As for having another one…I wanted a second baby for the same reasons you do. My boys are exactly 2 1/5 years apart. I actually wanted them 2 years apart, but I had 2 miscarriages between them. I wouldn’t have it any other way though. My two are the best of friends. They are completely different personalities, yet they are stuck to each other like glue. It’s pretty amazing to see. Yes, it’s hard in the beginning with a little one all over again, but it gets easier. My kids were night and day different as infants too. Maybe you will luck out and have a Jay the second time around. :)

  5. itzyskitchen permalink
    April 9, 2014 4:34 pm

    Shes just adorable! Love <3 Kay went through a period of disrupted sleep too- we kept thinking it was nightmares! Hope she gets through it soon

  6. ginger635 permalink
    April 10, 2014 11:38 am

    I can’t believe that she’s two, and can’t wait to see her this weekend! Your post brings back so many memories. Your Dad and I were very much more relaxed with our second (you). That made the infant stage less nerve wracking – we felt like we were old pros and took lots of things in stride instead of worrying about every little thing. Plus, we had more friends who had little children, where before, almost all of our friends were childless still and working. I felt much more alone when we had Katherine. Both you and Katherine were good babies, but I didn’t allow myself to relax as much with Katherine. I have enjoyed raising two – you are both different in so many ways! It really has been twice the pleasure! As far as the sleep issues, we went through that with you. We finally put a pallet on the floor by our bed and slowly moved it down the hall to your room. “This, too, shall pass.” See you soon!

  7. April 12, 2014 3:56 am

    Happy birthday sweet girl! She is so beautiful. I understand your feelings of ambivalence…Lu is wonderful but exhausting. I don’t know how we’ll do it all over again…but I know we will eventually ;-)

  8. April 14, 2014 12:47 pm

    Anna – I love reading all of your posts, though I rarely comment (too lazy to type on the iPhone!). No one has tackled the honestly of parenting like you do and for that I am grateful and you deserve a gold star! Like you, I am at the “when/if we go for two” stage. However, my little one is pretty easy, aside from a few colds and teething she has been really easy and like the above post, wonder if God would do that to us twice! :) I do want to ask you – do you have any thoughts or plan in place for getting rid of the pacifier? Mine is an addict and I want to wean her, but am waiting for those who are brave enough to go before me. haha

    • April 14, 2014 12:52 pm

      Funny– this is something we’ve been talking about A LOT in our house! In fact, we had a plan in place: we were going to tell Lila that the Easter Bunny was going to take her paci’s away for babies that need them, and that in exchange, he was going to leave her a basket full of big girl toys and treats. We had it all planned out– cold turkey, all of them gone.

      BUT. Then we asked our pediatrician about it, and he basically told us that it’s not that big of a deal if she’s mainly just using them at naps and nighttime (which she is). He said as long as she isn’t still using them at the age of like, five, that it’s really okay. I hate to take them away from her at night– they are SUCH a comfort to her. So, I think we may nix the Easter Bunny plan and just continue to let her have them, strictly at naps and nighttime.

      What a mess– I was glad that she took to the paci so quickly as a baby because they really did calm her down, but now I have no idea when we’re going to finally be paci-free! Good luck with your own paci battle! Thanks for reading and for your sweet comment!

  9. May 14, 2014 4:56 pm

    Beautiful post! I do think the newborn phase will be somewhat easier the second time around because you know what you’re doing. But it’s still going to rock our world!

    • May 14, 2014 6:06 pm

      I keep telling myself that because Lila was (what I perceived to be) a “difficult” baby (lots of screaming/crying, colic, etc.) that our second one will be easier. I guess I’ll be pretty pissed if the second baby is just as fussy…or worse! Haha. I guess you just can’t predict it, and like you said, even the easiest babies tend to rock the parents’ world. :-)

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