Bath Time, Blog Woes
Hi friends…long time, no blog, right? The truth is, I’ve been feeling kind of “meh” about blogging lately. I can’t say that we haven’t been eating good meals—we have. I just haven’t wanted to blog about them.
Maybe it’s because school starts next week—I’ve been creating my syllabi, working out schedules, attending orientation sessions, and doing all sorts of work that reminds me that I have a real job that will demand a lot of my time, come this fall.
When I started blogging, we had just moved to Pennsylvania and I was teaching a class load similar to the one I’ll have this year—three classes then, four now.
But other than teaching, my days (and nights) were pretty open—even empty. We didn’t have many friends, we didn’t have family in the area, and, to tell the truth, I remember our day-to-day routine being kind of sad. Definitely lacking. And blogging helped to fill my life with a new bit of excitement and purpose, as pathetic as that sounds. I loved thinking of new post and recipe ideas. And I blogged with gusto—twice a day for almost two years straight.
But now, fast forward almost three years after my first blog post, and there’s this new little dweller in my life—maybe you’ve seen her?
And she has this adorable habit of taking up all of my time. Blogging used to excite me. But lately, it’s been feeling like a monkey on my back. And as cheesy as it sounds, I’m getting my excitement elsewhere these days:
I think back to my early blogging days, when I was desperate to “build an audience.” I think about the comments I left on blog after blog, cheering on bowl after bowl of oatmeal, exclaiming that each new sandwich or placemat or smoothie was THE BEST THING EVER!!!! I think of all the “Holy yum!”s I chanted, day after day.
And I’m a little ashamed. And a lot exhausted. No wonder I burned myself out on blogging.
The truth is, my page counts have gone down and down and downer. My blogging has become irregular at best. The posts I do manage to come up with are scattered, jumbled, confused.
But I’ve never been happier.
So many bloggers seem to suffer from an addiction to documenting everything—every bowl, every bite, every day, every night—I certainly did. It can be easy to get so caught up in documenting your life that you forget to live it. And maybe that’s why blogging was so appealing to me in those first few months—it was a way to put a happy, shiny gloss on a life that, in reality, was pretty sad and scary and lonely.
But right now, life is the opposite of sad. It’s a cliche, I know, but every day really is a wonder. Life is still scary. But it’s a scary that exhilarates and thrills me, instead of catching like a lump in the back of my throat.
I don’t know where blogging fits into my life anymore. And, perhaps more succinctly, I don’t know where my life fits into blogging.
I’m not quitting. As with everything else these days, I’m just going to have to figure it out as I go along.
And I do hope you’ll come along for whatever jumbled, rumpled hodgepodge it becomes.