Sushi and Wine and Running, Oh My!
Hello and happy Friday!!
We did pretty well last night—Lila went to bed around 10:30 (as did we) and woke up at 2:00 to eat (with Ryan) and 5:00 to eat (with me) and then slept again until 7:45. Not too shabby! I tell ya, one of the biggest perks of formula is being able to share the feeding duties—we’re both a little sleepy, especially in the evenings, but I don’t feel nearly as sleep-deprived as I know some new parents can be (especially breastfeeding mothers).
In fact, after a long afternoon nap yesterday, I was feeling energized enough to…
…go running!! Well, okay… “running.” I didn’t wear my Garmin, but I’d bet that I was clocking about a 12 minute mile. Still, I ran for about two miles, and it felt GREAT. I’m not supposed to push it right now in terms of exercise, so I won’t be running much further (or faster) until my post-partum doctor’s appointment, but I have to say, in terms of stress relief and just feeling normal again, it felt SO good to be running again.
Breaking a sweat (a true sweat) is one of the things I missed most during pregnancy. I exercised a lot, but was pretty careful to keep it low-impact—walking, yoga, and light weight lifting. Who knew you could miss sweat so much?!?
Other things I’ve been enjoying? Wine. Beer. Sushi:
and runny, runny eggs:
Even though I’m really REALLY enjoying all of the things I had to give up during pregnancy (Starbucks and I are best friends again), I have to say—I’ve also been really surprised by how much I miss being pregnant.
Early on in my pregnancy, I was complaining to my sister about how much I just plain didn’t like it—I couldn’t drink, I was tired all the time, I felt worn-out and just…not like myself.
“Really?” she asked, surprised. “I loved being pregnant!”
Well la-ti-freakin’-da for you, I thought.
But then, somewhere along the way, I turned a corner, and suddenly…I, too, loved being pregnant.
Oh sure, not being able to drink pretty much sucked for the whole nine months. And by the end, I was obviously uncomfortable, tired, and ready to be done with it:
But I definitely hit a sweet-spot from about week 22 to week 38 where I just felt…awesome. I loved having the freedom to eat whatever I wanted without guilt. I loved showing off my big, round belly instead of trying to suck it in or hide it, and the smiles that it would elicit from random strangers. I loved that belly—loved rubbing it, singing to it, prodding Ryan with it when I needed more room in bed. I just loved having it.
And that, I think, it what I miss most about pregnancy—the companionship of the belly. When I’m alone now—walking, or running errands, or just driving in the car—it hits me that I’m truly alone again. When you’re pregnant, there’s an awareness (either consciously or sub-consciously) that you always have a little partner with you. I miss waking up in the middle of the night to kicks and rolls. Some nights, I’d wake Ryan up and we’d watch the belly in action together. But many nights, I’d watch it on my own—all the ripples and waves—and feel totally connected to the little girl inside of me, even though she was still a stranger.
And then, finally, she moved out:
And now, while I love being able to hold her in my arms more than anything, I also miss the days when I didn’t quite know who she was, what she was going to look like, what her cries would sound like (this is no longer a mystery)…I miss the wonder of it all.
And the quiet. I miss the quiet.