W.W.V.D?
No, not what would Vince Vaughn do…what would a VEGAN do?!?
**WARNING: CHALLENGE FAIL AHEAD**
Good afternoon! Hope your Sunday is going well…are you discovering why Sunday rhymes with fun day? 
Our Sunday has indeed been a fun day so far, but it’s also been a thought-provoking one, Vegan Challenge-wise.
As I mentioned in last night’s post, this morning, Ryan and I headed over to our friends, Lee and Steve’s house for a relaxing brunch. Going into the brunch, I knew one thing: the food would likely not be vegan.
Lee and Steve know about my vegetarianism, but they are not aware of the January vegan challenge. When they e-mailed inviting us over for Sunday brunch, Ryan and I discussed the different options:
1. Decline, and wait until February to hang out with two of the few friends we have here in Pennsylvania
2. Accept, but be a “difficult” guest and ask if it would be possible to have something vegan, even though they’d already mentioned their plans of making a (vegetarian) brunch with an apple skillet cake (not vegan, as I assume it had eggs and butter) and soy sausage (also not vegan, but purchased specially for yours truly)
3. Accept, do not mention the challenge, enjoy a vegetarian but not vegan brunch and a relaxing Sunday with good friends
I chose option number 3.
The vegan challenge has not, in actuality, been that much of a challenge. When we’ve eaten out, I’ve always been able to find something on the menu, and in terms of our own cooking, it’s been great. We’ve been experimenting with different foods, and although some of the pre-packaged products that I’m used to eating (Kashi crackers, certain cereals and baked goods, etc.) have been shelved for the month, for the most part, I’ve felt happy, healthy, and not at all deprived. For full disclosure, there have been a few bites stolen here and there of non-vegan products (ahem, cookies), but no BIG challenge failures.
Until today.
I guess my question here is addressed to all the vegans out there—what would you do in this situation? Non-vegans, of course I’d love to hear your input as well. 
It was a brunch, so there were only two food options, both of which were non-vegan, but also which only contained eggs and butter. It’s not like I ate a big piece of ham. I think if it had been a dinner party situation, it would have been an easier problem to avoid, because with a meal like that, there’s almost always a few side dishes (veggies, bread, etc.) that a vegan could eat without having to make a big deal about not eating the non-vegan foods. But, not eating the vegan foods in this case would have just meant not eating, and that, to me, would have felt too rude.
I think it also makes a difference to me that I’m doing this for simply a month-long challenge, and am not, in actuality, vegan. It would have felt a little arrogant and silly to refuse to eat eggs and butter today, on January 17th, when on February 1st, I’ll be eating them freely again.
I’ll be writing a longer post when the challenge is over about my thoughts on veganism vs. vegetarianism, but I think this brunch “issue” has kind of pin-pointed why I don’t think I would ever be able to go fully vegan: while I feel fully comfortable cooking vegan in my own home, but when it comes to eating outside the home, especially as a guest in someone’s house, I just don’t feel comfortable making such specific dietary demands.
In a way, I’m glad this happened, because so many people act like the road to veganism (and even vegetarianism) is smooth sailing, and it’s NOT. There are many bumps along the way, and you have to navigate some pretty tricky situations.
Thoughts? Comments? I’d love to hear from you!
ps- Sorry for no picture…but the meal was delicious! Must have been all that butter
I think you made the right choice, Anna, particularly since your veganism is a month-long challenge instead of a lifestyle change, as you pointed out.
My mom is vegetarian and doesn’t eat wheat, so when she’s invited to a dinner, she tells the hosts that she’ll bring a dish (something that she can eat). It seems to work well because the hosts don’t feel pressure to cater to her, although often they will anyway.
I agree — option 3 was the way to go. (It was certianly the most polite, and you don’t want to disappoint your mama who raised you right, right?! I accepted a dinner invitation from my boss when I was only eating poultry and we had Chicken Cordon Bleu. I ate it. My mom assured me it was the right thing to do.)
I think you’ve got the right attitude about one bump in the road for the challenge, too. You’re obviously taking it seriously for yourself but not abandoning reason.
You made the right choice! Dining with others is difficult (trust me) but its not worth social isolating yourself. ENJOY and Happy Sunday “_
Sometimes it’s okay to step off your diet. How you eat food is almost as important as what you eat, and eating in the company of others is definitely a plus. Alicia Silverstone (a vegan) wrote in her book that she occasionally will have just one piece of sushi, her past favorite food. Food shouldn’t be about feeling guilty, so if you need to eat a little dairy now and then, I say it’s fine!
Thanks for stopping by my blog
Like you said, you’re being vegan right now is for a challenge, it’s not for personal/ethical reasons. I would have likely chosen #3 as well. I don’t think you should feel guilty or feel as if you failed somehow at all.
I think you made the right choice. If you were honestly trying to be a steadfast vegan, I’d have probably suggested packing fruits and nuts or going hungry. But like you said it’s a monthly challenge experiment, and it’s not like this one morning detracted from the experience one ounce.
I think you did the right thing too. Another option would have been to offer to bring something vegan.
I agree with your choice. Vegan January wasn’t necessarily intended to be a lifestyle overhaul, it was just to try it out. And you did/are! This is just an experience to add to your reasons to go vegan or not to go vegan. No worries here!
what about an offer to bring something vegan to share?
I think you made the right choice, but as a host, I would have not been offended if my guests had other preferences of diet limitations. I think that since this has been a challenge more than a lifestyle, then it was fine of you to relax, but I have been in situations when I had to be forward about what I couldn’t eat and most people are very nice about it!
That said, a lifestyle choice is private and individual, and there is no need to put yourself in a category!
That’s a tough situation- I think you made the right decision. I’m not a vegan (or vegetarian for that matter, although that may be changing soon!) but I would feel uncomfortable making special requests when someone already went of the their way to accommodate my my diet. Additionally, you don’t want to put your social life on hold. I’m interested to see your thoughts on vegan v vegetarian!
I definitely would’ve done exactly what you did. I’m not a vegetarian or a vegan (although I do rarely eat meat) but I often run in to similar situations. Invitations to come over and eat fried chicken, steak, or ribs, at Stephen’s parents’ house are quite frequent. I do not like any of these foods! I just suck it up and go. Eat a little bit and forget about it. What else can you do?
I agree with most other comments. I think you made the right choice! I don’t think your diet should affect your social life. Also, the point was to spend time with your friends right? Good choice!
That’s hard… I can completely understand how difficult it would be to make the decision you made. Like everyone else said you made the right choice and if in near future you decide that you want to the veganism route then you can declare that to your friends and family. Looking forward to reading your review at the end of the month.
girl i think i would have done the same! im sorry you were put in that position
Anna,
I would have done the same thing you did given that this is a challenge and not a lifestyle. People are more important than a challenge.
If you decided to become vegan and tell your friends things will be different since everyone will know. I almost always do the cooking (or at least bring a dish or two) when we get together with friends. That makes things easier on them, and we know what dishes are vegan and healthy.
Alicia
I would have done the same thing as you if I were doing veganism as a month long challenge, or to test it out. Now that I am a full-time vegan though, I’d probably ask if they would mind if either a) I brought something (vegan) or b) they made something vegan I could eat. I’m feeling more and more comfortable with it because I know it’s not that hard to make things vegan – and brunch-wise, I’m happy with fresh fruit and peanut butter toast. And waffles are almost easier to make vegan than non-vegan because you don’t have to worry about getting raw egg on your hands
I’ve also found that people are happy, and almost excited to make something different that isn’t in their usual repertoire, or feel honored that you would tell them, or are happy with you bringing your own contribution.
I think you made an excellent choice girl! It can’t be easy and I think in all other aspects you are still doing your best.
If the choice worked for you and there was no guilt, then the choice was a good one. Like you said, this isn’t your lifestyle it’s just a challenge you’re trying out. So you had some dairy and eggs, it’s not like the challenge or your experience will be any less important.
If it was me? I would have informed them I was vegan and then offered to bring something that I could eat. That’s just me though and so far, I haven’t been put in that situation.
I agree, you made the right choice. That was my choice while visiting in-laws over Thanksgiving, but I had to draw the line at processed sausage and sweet rolls for breakfast in a house void of any fresh produce
I agree with you – since it is just a challenge, it is no biggie. If you had switched over to veganism with the goal of sticking with it, you probably would have brought a hearty vegan dish and told them
*Sigh* .. I know too well how you feel, I battle this myself. It is the one thing that holds me back from going vegan. There are so many social situations and also in my profession that I have to eat with people, and I often think, what would I eat right now if I were vegan? I am the type that wants to go above and beyond to accommodate others, but don’t want others to have to do that for me. It’s truly a battle! You certainly did the right thing for your situation.